My Barber

I don’t visit hairdressers as I have no hair to dress.  I go to a local barber, and in my area of London they are often of North African, Middle Eastern or Turkish descent.  They all have one thing in common aside from my custom – they are family businesses.  

Generally, they respond well to my inquisitiveness: where is your family from, how did you come to London (not the means of transport), and do you like the weather?  The first two illicit fascinating conversations, the last a resigned rise of the shoulders.  Can’t say as I blame them.  

This week my barber was Palestinian born and raised in Syria; his family having all immigrated in 2008 – a nasty little war was the impetus.  They now own a barber shop, a small restaurant, and a silver business; they, being the collective they - the family.  I, typical of a member of the fractured western family model, asked him about his parents.  In their culture his answer would have been a given, not requiring any explanation whatsoever, much less asking.  

He told me they do everything for the family, and this finds its source and focus on his mother and father.  

“Of course, we are nothing without our parents.”  

What a refreshing counterpoint to the culture I was raised in where parents are increasingly discounted, and quickly shuffled off to a Care Home at the first sign of physical or cognitive incompetence.  We are too busy discovering ourselves, forging ahead with our dreams, to consider the those who faced the cost raising us.  We have quite forgotten that the one who saves his life losses it, and the one who loses his life saves (finds) it.  My Syrian barber believes lack of care for parents forebodes poorly; it gives reason to all sorts of social and personal problems.

Some of the development of a richness of life is bound up with the difficult and awkward situations life presents us with.  The grand virtues of patience and perseverance are mediated to us by situations we can’t change and must therefore faithfully endure.

“Honour your parents, this is the first commandment with a promise.”  And that promise is a long and good life.  Maybe my barber has something to say, and remember this scripture came from his context and culture – Middle Eastern.  

All this for £12.